This is your life. YOUR life. This was the first line that stuck out to me, because I never felt like I was running my own life. Everyone always told me, “You’re pretty and smart and talented and have a good job and blah blah blah,” but I wasn’t happy. So the line that really struck a chord with me was, “If you don’t like something, change it.” And I realized that I didn’t like anything in my life. So I decided to change it, starting with my attitude. Post-college life was tough, and I developed an eating disorder, anxiety, and a negative outlook on life. One of my favorite quotes is from Chicago Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau, “You can find an excuse…or you can make it good.” I realized I was finding an excuse more often than I was doing anything about it. So I started doing something about it.

I started taking yoga. I started challenging myself in small ways. I started seeing a therapist, making friends, developing hobbies, seeing doctors, reading books, educating myself, and working my way through. I’m not fully recovered yet, but I’m well on my way, and with the support of friends and family and the HOLSTEE Manifesto, I finally believe everything is going to be okay, which is a huge step for me. I didn’t like something, and I changed it, and that was tremendously empowering. I have the poster hanging in my room and the picture of the Manifesto is the background of my cell phone, so I’m able to have it as a reminder everywhere I go. It’s simple, but it’s so hard, but just believing that everything is going to be okay and letting go is the best gift you can give to yourself.

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