Three years ago, I was on a hike as a leader of a youth group. At the top of the mountain, I slid over the side. I was able to grab a small branch to hold on to until I could get pulled to safety. When the two male leaders looked at me I could see in their eyes that they did not know how they would pull me back over: you see, I was just about 300 lbs. In that moment I was humiliated and my thought was, just let me go, just let me go. They didn’t though, and they pulled me up. It was after that, that I hired a trainer and a nutritionist and for a year I worked hard only to have crushed most of the bones in both feet and had ZERO weight loss. I had huge boots on my feet and my foot doctor wanted me in a scooter…I was immobile at the age of 34 with small children. I remember sitting on the couch and watching my mother do my dishes and sister play with my kids, and again my thoughts went dark. I wanted to die. My kids deserved more, my husband deserved more, and I was in my own prison. I had to dig very deep into my soul that day. I said Lord, I want to run, I want to run soooo bad and I don’t really even like to run. But please, either I run again, or I am running to you. My soul changed that day as the whisper in it were, just picture yourself running and you will do so. I did just that, I never stopped picturing it. Now 2 years later here I am 120 lbs lighter. I was on a run recently and realized that I forgot my running mate (iPod) and in my soul I heard, “Just listen and enjoy”… as I did this, took deep breaths and could smell the pastures, I could hear the sprinklers in the fields and the crickets as they chirped. As I was enjoying it all, the simplicity of true happiness I was overwhelmed with gratitude because I realized that I was in my DREAM….I was living what I had created with the Lord’s help. If you don’t like something, change it. Go out and start creating. Live your DREAM.  

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Welcome to Holstee

Our monthly membership helps conscious people (like you!) libe a more meaningful life through actionable guide, inspiring art, thought-provoking content and a like-minded community.


Our Themes

Distilled from our Manifesto, positive psychology, the science of mindfulness, and ancient philosophic studies we have identified twelve themes core to living both fully and mindfully. We mapped these twelve themes to each of the twelve months in a year. Together with our community we explore one each month.


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