It was the full moon. No, I’m not a “Twilight” saga fan and I don’t know whether it’s superstitious or true but whenever there is a full moon, I was told that the phenomenon would affect human’s emotions and thoughts. One day, my course mate told us about the full moon’s coming and people are getting moody at one of our museum sessions (I am a History of Art master student). At first, I took it lightly until that night I had a strange dream. I’m not going to talk about my dream in detail but enough to say that someone whom I loved so much in the past came into my dream. That morning I woke up feeling disoriented and in complete disbelief. I questioned why would the person come back into my life? To regress a little bit, two months before the dream I called for my engagement to be held back home in Malaysia by the end of the year but unfortunately a month later it was called off. I was devastated at the beginning but luckily I took the optimist stance by saying to myself “Things happen for thousand reasons” and high chances are there must be plenty of good reasons for the engagement to be canceled, life just sometimes won’t work as how we planned. Nevertheless, the person I dreamt wasn’t the person I was going to get engaged to.  I bought the Holstee Manifesto poster six months ago when I first moved to London to pursue my postgraduate studies. I was inspired by its words and when I moved into the apartment, I hung the poster on top of the head of my bed. I was very enthusiastic to promise myself to read it every morning before I go to school. Months passed.  Course work submitted and a winter survived, I almost forgot I had the poster hung in my room. Time flew so fast until that day I woke up from the strange dream. I felt bad. It was terrible until I had to play Youtube videos of Dame Shirley Bassey’s “This is my life” to uplift my spirit again. Worst, I made an attempt to get in touch with my past love (the one I dreamt about) but it was to no avail. Dame Bassey’s song was on repeat and I wasn’t feeling any better. The day was somber and it didn’t help much either when I decided to shut the curtains. I skipped class that day; with the song in my head (playing the words “This is my life, today, tomorrow love will come and find me”) I forced myself to make lunch. As I was about to enter my room from the kitchen, there it was, the Holstee poster, as if it suddenly exists, the word LIFE grabbed my attention. After that it shifted to the word LOVE. Then it took me to read the sentence above it. “IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, STOP; THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU START DOING THINGS YOU LOVE.” I was startled but began to see the light. I have four months more until my thesis submission and I cannot afford to lock myself up in the room and feel disappointed. I have to GO OUT AND START CREATING. Many times in life we feel so fragile, vulnerable, detached, misunderstood and yearned to be settled, loved, appreciated and needed. When one lover leaves us, our hearts tend to ponder back on the lost sweet sensations and our minds tend to wander back on the lost memorable moments. This was the rationale of my dream. However, no matter what we feel, ALL EMOTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL. This was what Holstee manifesto has taught me. GETTING LOST WILL HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF. 

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