Bombarded by choices.  Paralyzed by all the options open to me.  Fearful of getting it wrong. Feelings flooding in – and many of them conflicting. What’s the right thing to do here?

I don’t know about you, but I can often worry about getting something right.  Making something perfect, never offending anyone or causing hurt, never having regrets.  When I am fearful of saying the wrong thing, I can tie myself in knots.

How did a simple response to someone get so complicated?

But, over time I have learned how to simplify. This approach has become my guiding rule and it serves me well.

Because it all comes down to love.  If I can respond from love, everything becomes simple.

If I can let all that inner chatter fade away, if I can listen into the spaces between those voices and hear beneath them, I can often access a part of me that’s a still pool, with a deep and eternal knowing.  And when I can do that it’s simple.  The only thing that matters in this moment s that I choose the most loving response.  I choose the response that comes from love.

And if I can do that, everything feels different – my body relaxes, my eyes soften and my crazy inner committee of voices pipes down. I have a sense of peace and of things being right with the world.

How do I do that?

I first have to remember that some parts of me don’t connect easily with love, and I have to see past them.  For example, there’s the part of me that is my Controller – the part that judges and analyses, weighs things up, sees risks everywhere and wants to keep me safe from then, is cautious and always planning ahead.

Then there’s my Needy Child. Sometimes showing up in my life like a little girl, this is the part of me that is scared and fearful, or hurt or angry. Or jealous. Or over excited.

(And those are only two parts of me: I daren’t introduce you yet to the many other parts that are shouting for my attention!)

But the part of me that I have learned to connect with is my Best Self, or Higher Self. This is the part of me  that is wise and compassionate, pure and serene.  The part of me that is loving and peaceful, and knows that it’s all ok and that I’m ok and that you’re okay. The part of me that trusts in myself and in other people.

When I can see things through her eyes, when I can simply see with the eyes of love, then everything becomes simple.  Truly simple.


Helena Clayton is a coach and facilitator who wants to ensure that people get the chance to get to know all of themselves: the dark parts as well as the bright and shiny parts. Her website is here and you can subscribe to her blogs here.

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