Usually when someone asks me, “How are you?” I respond instinctively with an, “I’m fine, thank you.”Tweet It!
The problem is, fine isn’t a feeling. At best, it’s a nondescript, neutral state of existence. And “I’m good” isn’t much better.
These responses are the consequence of years of mindless reactions to a soul-searching question that people colloquially use as a greeting.
But when we take the time to sit with it, the question is quite powerful.
“How are you?” Or, asked differently, “What does it feel to be you right now?”
The first step to answering this question is finding the right vocabulary.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (which honestly should be renamed “The Center for Rational, Thoughtful, Self-Aware and Productive Communication” — yes, I am a huge fan :-)) is a resource that can help us find the words for what we are feeling and trying to communicate. In our Compassion Guide this month, we dove deep and synthesized dozens of pages into a short and really helpful exercise for members.
But back to finding the right words… the Center has a resource listing the wide variety of emotions we might be feeling at any given time. They divide the words into two buckets — feelings for when your needs are met and feelings for when they are not.
Take a look at the following words. Pause for a moment with each — what does that feeling really feel like?
… the list goes on.
“Fine” is not on the list. Neither is “good”. :-)
So, how are you?
Begin your day feeling grounded and inspired.
A free 30-day email series where we share the most impactful stories and ideas that have helped us on our journey to live a more meaningful life.
✌️ Free. Unsubscribe anytime.
“I’m in the midst of big life transitions at the moment, chasing book deals, relocating, taking risks, carving out a life that feels honest, so your emails have been a perfectly timed source of inspiration and reassurance.” Jo in London, Great Britain
"Love the emails! They are a great reset or what I would call mindful chiropractic adjustment to approaching the day. Thank you!" Laurie in Albuquerque, New Mexico
"I love the emails. They give me a new perspective and things to think about and apply in my life." Monica in Johannesburg, South Africa
"It's food for the soul and sets my spiritual compass in the right direction." Farahdiva Samsul in Assam, India
"Absolutely LOVE the daily emails. One of the only email subscriptions I read daily. Keep them coming!!" Adriana in New York, New York
"The emails are thought-provoking and uplifting. A little pause from the crazy happenings of modern life. A quick chance to reflect, smile, and think about a life lived mindfully." Pharan in Queensland, Australia
"I have thoroughly enjoyed the Mindfully Mailed series. Daily I await this little nugget of goodness to hit my inbox each day." Tambria in Shreveport, Louisiana
Welcome to Holstee
Our monthly membership helps conscious people (like you!) live a more meaningful life through actionable guide, inspiring art, thought-provoking content and a like-minded community.BECOME A MEMBER →
This article is part of our series on the theme of Compassion.EXPLORE Compassion →
Distilled from our Manifesto, positive psychology, the science of mindfulness, and ancient philosophic studies we have identified twelve themes core to living both fully and mindfully. We mapped these twelve themes to each of the twelve months in a year. Together with our community we explore one each month.VIEW OUR THEMES →