One of the greatest (and unexpected) benefits of starting the Reflections series is the wonderful connections I have made with many of our daily readers.

Ruth in the UK recently responded to our “Ask Us Anything” email with the question: “I am interested in what are our questions? Is our life a way of answering the questions we perhaps arrive with?"

I didn’t know what Ruth meant at first. So I replied, “When you say ‘what are our questions’ — I am curious and I want to better understand. What makes you think we have any questions that need answering?

Ruth responded:

“What I meant is that I feel that many of us arrive at the work we do in our lives ultimately through an (articulated or unarticulated and sometimes unconscious) question. I use the word question quite loosely as I mean more a feeling or query or discomfort with a given.

I don't think this is just about the work we do - it’s often the live we life. Perhaps our early life brings us something that leaves us questioning - for me my early experiences were very violent and left me with a question about connection and disconnection - how do we become re-connected with life, with humanity and with ourselves after a severe disconnection?

My life, as I reflect, has been a journey to answer this question - finally leading me to my work with violent offenders. This question of finding connection after disconnection, although I believe has always been there for me as a pressing way of understanding my life, has not been conscious - more an unconscious driver to make sense out of something that did not make sense. Until of course it become conscious and I went ahhhhhhh! Of course!

I suppose my thinking was in reading your emails and sensing that others read them and say, ‘ahh, yes, this is what I have been looking for’ - often without realising they were looking at all.”

Ruth’s thoughtful answer really got me thinking!

I now know exactly what she meant. We might be drawn to experiences or make decisions that lead us to find or experience an answer — and in that way, we are living based on deep “questions” inside of us, even if we’re not quite aware of it.

That is a powerful concept I had never considered before.

What are your questions?

I want to leave you with this idea, along with a beautiful line that Ruth recently used to sign-off an email to me:

“I hope your questions continue to bubble up like springs to meet you and your life as you sit and reflect.”

Dave Radparvar
Co-Founder, Holstee

P.S. Each month, we share big questions and thought-starters with our community of Holstee Members. By answering them, you might start to unpack the big questions within you. Learn more →

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