Nearly all of our health concerns relate to our spiritual well-being, so one of the practices I share with my clients is remembering our core commitment to health and our key relationships. Evaluating our key relationships is easy since there are just  four relationships to consider.

1. Relationship to Spirit, the eternal self.

How balanced is your awareness of your relationship with Spirit?  Do you owe some grateful attention and appreciation for your life and blessings? The Eternal Life of God flows through all universes, dimensions and Beings. There are many religions, but only one Spirit of Truth flows through all of them in the same way that a golden chain links the many individual pearls in a necklace. Every religion is its own expression of gratitude and appreciation for the gift of Life that flows though all Beings.  

"No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow." - Alice Walker

It amazes me how my health and vitality are renewed when I make sure that this relationship is primary, and that daily practice doesn’t fall behind my ever growing to-do list!

2. Relationship to the physical world, the Planet Earth.

Gaia is the ʻāina which supports and nourishes our Being. Without care, appreciation and renewal, the earth, its air, farms, and waters, cannot sustain the miracle of our renewable health. Do we over consume its resources? Recycle? Nurture? Give back?

3. Relationship to the WEB of all Beings.

In life around us, we connect, both knowingly and not, with all living creatures and sentient Beings. This is most easily brought home in our daily interactions with each other.

A great teacher once reminded me, “If you want to know how well you are doing in life, take a look at the people around you. Do people blossom and thrive in your presence?  Are they growing and doing well?”  If everyone around you is not doing well, what is the common element that connects them? This reflection is often a refresher course in humility.

What can you do to have your relationships thrive? It is easy, when we simply focus our daily intention and meditation on our families and co-workers enjoying vibrant well-being. As you do this, you will notice your whole body feel more vibrant and well as you connect that feeling of vital energy with the images of loved ones in your heart and mind.

For one client who was having a hard time dealing with traffic and getting angry with drivers who seemed inconsiderate, distracted or dangerous (and thereby become distracted herself!), I suggested a “magic wand” mantra!

"I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship." - Brené Brown

Try this: instead of succumbing to the natural feelings of frustration, instead say, “You are Blessed! Miracles & Magic! Room for all and easy flow.” Notice how quickly it changes your feelings toward the other cars and drivers. My client liked this so much, she made a little wand with sparkly streamers to wave at people she passed. The positive and immediate side effects of her “zapping” other drivers with this blessing was decreased stress levels and lowerblood pressure, instead of hostility that would leave her feeling poisoned.

4. Relationship to our own Hearts, our individual expression of Love.   

Our heart is rhythmic expression of the planetary pulsation of life, the miraculous “pump” that sustains us. We now know that hearts are linked, that their electromagnetic fields influence each other, and they need daily care and exercise to thrive.

Besides the healthful joy of cardiovascular exercise which flushes our brains with healing oxygen and joy-inspiring brain hormones, endorphins such as oxytocin are also released by loving thoughts, nourishing conversations, thoughts about God or Spirit, a healing massage or healthy touch and during intellectual activities, such as learning.

Oxytocin is the nurturing hormone in both men and women.  It may come as no surprise that this is also the same hormone that, in women, helps cause natural birth contractions, releases breast milk, and is released during times of stress to engender the “tend and befriend” response. Women instinctively know that nurturing others and being compassionate always makes you feel better.  

What surprises men, is learning that they also produce oxytocin through generous actions, healthy thoughts, good social interactions and learning something new. It causes trust and a feeling of deep well-being.

Tending our heart through exercise, good relationships and compassionate acts is an expression of gratitude and appreciation for our own lives. As we flourish and prosper, our well-being influences the well-being of others.

Honoring these four relationships is like a daily blessing to the four cornerstones of a house.  The practice will always leave you feeling blessed, happy, and well.


Virginia Beck, NP, CTP, lives, writes, teaches, and counsels about peaceful, healthy living, from the Garden Island of Kaua'i. Wellness practices and skillful redesign of her clients lives, enable them to practice living in health and peace. 

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