I’m not too young and I’m not too old, and I have lived a relatively sheltered life. However, I’ve also pursued an unconventional path; a path lit up with self-awareness in hopes to find a deeper, more enriched life.
On this path, I’ve encountered my fair share of challenges, curiosities, heartbreaks, and humbling moments. Though, it's been through these experiences that I've learned the following simple lessons. Lessons which have continued to ground me no matter where I am, who I’m with, or what I am facing at the moment.
1. You Can Make Different Choices
This can apply to thoughts, feelings, or even just plans for the day. Sometimes it’s important to remember that we do have a choice and are not bound to things that don’t feel right.
2. In Challenging Moments, Be Quiet More
This one has really helped me through difficult times. Where in the past I had a tendency to default to anger or forcing my point across, I have now learned that the more you are able to get quiet, the more things truthfully reveal themselves to you.
3. Honor Your Instincts
A constant practice because it can be easy to rationalize your feelings and it is ingrained in us by society to experience through life through a rational lens of what is ‘normal’. The truth is that our intuition is like a radar and picks up on the subtleties of situations from our past experiences that our rational mind may not be focused on at that moment. Trust it.
4. Saying NO is Okay, Good, and Generally Healthy
It can be easy to get wrapped up in what others expect of us and crumble under the weight of obligations. Whether it be with work, friends or family, always remember that by saying NO to something that doesn’t serve you, you are making space for other YESes that can create better, healthier opportunities for you. You will also be 1000% more effective with those you love if you operate from a place of genuine volition. It’s a win-win!
5. Being Liked Isn’t Everything
Standing up for yourself and articulating your values is far more important than being liked by everyone. If you are operating from your authentic self and a pure intention, you will attract the right collaborators, partners, and friends. That’s what matters most.
6. Trust is Precious
It really is something that can’t be bought or repaired once broken. Be discerning with your trust.
7. Your Feelings Are Important
Even if it’s easier to forget yourself and stay small to avoid backlash, try to prioritize what’s important to you and speak up if needed. Keeping the peace only lasts so long and repressed feelings tend to come out in one way or another. Compassionate, honest expression is the way forward.
8. Unconditional Love Exists, Always
It can be hard to remember in times of heartbreak or betrayal but love exists all around us. The purest form is the love you have for yourself and the love from the universe. You are never without love even in these difficult moments. Cultivate your awareness of love in every moment.
9. Forgive the Past… All of It
Yes, even that.
Forgiving others seem to be less difficult than forgiving ourselves sometimes. Or maybe you’re holding on to a resentment because it feels comfortable and makes you feel superior. The truth is that resentment and anger are like holding a hot coal - it weighs you down and burns a hole in your favorite pants! The act of forgiveness is one of the most difficult keys to living a wholehearted life.
10. No Explanations Are Needed
I learned this from a healer a few years ago and again from a 3-year-old boy who constantly says ‘no because no” when he isn’t comfortable or happy about something. It’s important to remember that you are the best authority on you and if something doesn’t feel good or sit well with you, it’s okay to enforce boundaries without any explanation whatsoever. It is not your job to make sure everyone is okay with your choices - no explanations are needed.
Briana is a self-proclaimed eccentric with a passion for learning about other people, countries, and cultures, She presently enjoys the creative freedom to write on topics surrounding recruitment, wellness, and design. Fuelled almost exclusively by espresso, empathy, and enthusiasm, you can reach Brie on Twitter @bree_z or on her website.
Welcome to Holstee
Our monthly membership helps conscious people (like you!) live a more meaningful life through actionable guide, inspiring art, thought-provoking content and a like-minded community.BECOME A MEMBER
This article is part of our series on the theme of Simplicity.EXPLORE Simplicity
Distilled from our Manifesto, positive psychology, the science of mindfulness, and ancient philosophic studies we have identified twelve themes core to living both fully and mindfully. We mapped these twelve themes to each of the twelve months in a year. Together with our community we explore one each month.VIEW OUR THEMES