Mindful Matter
A Season of Adventure: 5 Learnings From This Month’s Guide
Jennifer Lioy, Creative and Community Lead at Holstee
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The proof is in the poems.
Last weekend, I got in some great family time. A particularly powerful moment was when my grandmother Mammanjoon (MJ for short) held Mala, our new daughter, in her arms for the first time. Immediately, she recited a poem she had written for Mala in her native Farsi. It's said that the people of Shiraz, Iran — where our family’s lineage dates back several hundred years — cherish creativity, curiosity, and celebration. MJ’s actions remind us of this legacy each day. She wrote poems for each of her nine grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren, and she can easily recite any number of Rumi and Hafez poems she’s committed to memory over the 92 years of her life. She pulls late nights with the family playing logic games like Rummikub and Hokm, a Persian card game. She regularly practices new crochet patterns, tries new recipes, and is curious about new technologies. When I look back, it seems there’s no challenge MJ’s been afraid to take on. And despite her age, her memory is as sharp as mine — on my best days. When I asked MJ the number one thing that keeps her mind so sharp, she told me that it’s doing things that engage and challenge her. Her response almost perfectly echoes the latest research into neurodegeneration, highlighted in this month’s Adventure Guide: “People who have led more cognitively stimulating lives — through formal education, complex paid occupations, and/or cognitively engaging hobbies — have a reduced risk of developing dementia ... Cognitive engagement provides cognitive reserve that delays the onset of cognitive impairment.”– CCNA Researchers Nicole D. Anderson, PhD, Angela K. Troyer, PhD, and Kelly Murphy, PhD Whether it’s memorizing poems or learning a new stitch — by living a ‘cognitively stimulating’ life, it would appear that Mammanjoon has built up a ‘cognitive reserve’ — basically a bank of neurons that can be drawn on for years to come. By building our cognitive reserve, researchers suggest that we can actually delay symptoms of old age. And on a personal level, it might be the reason why Mammanjoon continues to school Dave in Rummikub and delight her new great-granddaughter with poetry. To life, love, and learning, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. Fun fact: MJ created many of the first prototypes for our first product, the Holstee t-shirt (holster pocket + t-shirt = Holstee). In many ways, she is the reason Holstee exists today! Speaking of new products... if you haven’t heard yet, we are preparing for a Kickstarter launch later this summer! Learn more about our newest product, Holstee Reflection Cards →
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An adventure into parts unknown.
“If I'm an advocate for anything, it's to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else's shoes or at least eat their food, it's a plus for everybody. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move." ― Anthony Bourdain My parents and much of my family moved to the U.S. in 1979. They were seeking asylum — fleeing Iran during the revolution to avoid religious persecution. My parents, newlyweds, came with two pieces of luggage each, leaving their home, their families, their friends and nearly all of their possessions to start a new life. Like most of my family members who left during that time, they haven't returned, always waiting for a safe moment to visit again. Cooking, eating, and sharing conversations over meals became a way for my family to stay connected, as well as an opportunity to make friends in their new home. It was after one of these long, delicious Persian meals that I was first introduced to Anthony Bourdain. My aunt had watched the Parts Unknown episode focused on Iran, and she played it for the family to see. Watching this episode was an eye-opener for me. I was reminded that beyond the cultural heritage, delicious dishes, and Persian hospitality that surrounded me growing up, there are places, people, and foods from Iran that are still completely foreign because I’ve never had the chance to travel there in person. Watching it was also a relief. Anthony, with his infinite humanity, demonstrated that even in places seen as dangerous or foreign, there are caring people who open their homes and kitchens with a loving smile. It’s a reminder that sometimes it takes going beyond our comfort zone to see how connected the world can be. As we explore the theme of Adventure this June, we want to take a moment to remember a man who shared so many incredible adventures with us. Anthony and his zest for both cuisine and kinship will be forever missed. And his legacy will remain as we find our own ways to explore parts unknown. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Parenting wisdom from the community.
In last week’s Reflection (Reduce the noise, focus on the essentials, and keep it simple.) I shared how I have been paring down and simplifying my life so I could make space for becoming a father. At the end of the email I asked you, the Holstee community, to share your lessons and words of parenting wisdom — the response was incredible. And what timing. Our baby girl was born this week and it’s been one of the most meaningful, magical experiences of my life. My heart has swelled in ways I didn’t know was possible. The transition from last month's theme of Simplicity to June's theme of Adventure was particularly pronounced for me this year. It was a great reminder of how much the former can be an enabler for the latter. The wisdom of this community runs deep so I’d like to reflect back what you so generously had to offer me, categorized into a few buckets below. Keep yourself healthy “All the baby needs is happy, healthy parents. If you are centered and strong, your child will be as well!” -Heather “Sleep when the baby sleeps” - Melissa “Make sure that you and your wife have each others back when either of you makes what may be an unpleasant decision.” - CJ “Your daughter will test your strength and push you to your limits of sanity. It will start easily enough and will quickly progress to full on chaos. You will lose your mind. When this happens allow yourself to step away and reset, until you can return to your normal state of mind.” - Dave E. Be in the moment “SAVOR EVERY MOMENT.” - Yvonne “Especially in the first months in the life of your little girl you can set the base of a deeply emotional relationship. I cuddled and hugged as much as I could with my daughter” - Carsten “Just enjoy the moments and embrace a beginners mind.” - CJ "Don't wish anything away. No matter what phase you are in, it will change. And it all goes by quickly. So do whatever you can to appreciate the now of whatever stage you're in." - Mike S. “When you are with your family BE with your family. Learn to be flexible. Listen to your child. If they feel heard, really heard, everything from there is doable.” - Lani “Put down the parenting books and pick up the baby.” - Gina "Parenting tiny humans is like living life in fast forward and slow motion all at the same time. Enjoy the show!" - Leslie B “We asked everyone to stay away for two weeks so that we could bond and find our new rhythm. Its difficult to put into words how special it was.” - Ben Trust your intuition “Keep it simple, do what your instincts tell you.” - Max “You can't mess it up. You will be the exact parent your child needs.” - Melissa “We're all wrong at least 50% of the time, and it turns out, being wrong isn't so bad, especially in parenting. With each "wrong" choice, you are teaching incredible resilience, flexibility, and forgiveness. And the world always needs more of all three of those things.” - Elaine “Don't feel that you need to listen to other's parenting advice. Take what you want. Smile and say no thank you to the rest.” - Heather On guiding your child “Enjoy them love them and know that you can influence not own and control them.” - Jane “Teach them character and integrity by example. Say yes whenever you can and when you say no, mean it.” - Barbara “Let her learn the value of a dollar and the satisfaction and personal pride that comes from working to earn something. As she saves for the things that she wants, she will learn to delay gratification. She is being born into a world of uncertainty. Create family rituals and routines that become sacred to your family. She is growing up in a world of disconnected people. Let her find her voice and know that her thoughts matter. Remember that ultimately, she has her own journey.” - Debbie And one more to look forward to ;-) “The best thing about children is they are a gateway to being a grandparent” - Jane Cecilia also resurfaced two poems on parenting for me I have always loved: On Children by Kahlil Gibran and Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte - you can read both at the end of this note. Thank you again for sharing your wisdom and hard-learned lessons with me. I am honored to be able to pass them along. And thanks to Allaina for the great suggestion to share these responses! With gratitude and love, Michael, Setareh and Mala On Children by Kahlil Gibran Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts,For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them,but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies,so He loves also the bow that is stable. Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte If a child lives with criticism,he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility,he learns to fight. If a child lives with fear,he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with pity,he learns to feel sorry for himself. If a child lives with ridicule,he learns to be shy. If a child lives with jealousy,he learns what envy is. If a child lives with shame,he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with encouragement,he learns to be confident. If a child lives with tolerance,he learns to be patient. If a child lives with praise,he learns to be appreciative. If a child lives with acceptance,he learns to love. If a child lives with approval,he learns to like himself. If a child lives with recognition,he learns that it is good to have a goal. If a child lives with sharing,he learns about generosity. If a child lives with honesty and fairness,he learns what truth and justice are. If a child lives with security,he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him. If a child lives with friendliness,he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live. If you live with serenity,your child will live with peace of mind. With what is your child living?
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The more I see, the less I know.
The more we experience, the more we start to understand the world around us — but more importantly, the more we realize what is yet to be seen, heard, smelled, touched, and understood. In other words, as John Lennon said (and the Red Hot Chili Peppers famously sang): “The more I see, the less I know” — a line that inspired this design. The better someone understands physics, the more they understand how much is yet to
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I was terrified.
This past weekend, I met up with two friends here in Amsterdam, Tim and Sascha. We met at a nearby dock to go for a swim. The dock was about 15 feet above the water. Tim, a towering 6’5” Dutchman, backflipped into the water with a gymnast’s grace. It was unexpected and incredible. Full of energy and excitement, I walked to the edge of the dock with the intention to do a front flip. When I was 11 years old, I regularly did flips off diving boards. Though it had been decades, I knew inside that I could still do it. I stood at the edge to jump and froze. I was terrified. I am rarely that scared these days, but this was deep, body-shocking fear. Sascha wanted to capture my flip on camera, but instead he got a five-second video of me walking up to the ledge, then walking away. Failure. I took a step back. Calmed myself down. Decided again that I could and would attempt a flip. And approached the ledge again. I bent my knees, lowered my hands, and prepared to launch myself. But then I froze again, this time nearly losing my footing and falling in. My adrenaline was pumping at full throttle. My heart felt like it was going to pound right through my chest. I let myself down again. This happened about a half-dozen times. My friends were encouraging so I wasn’t as embarrassed as I was disappointed in myself. I took another step back and remembered an idea from psychologist Abraham Maslow that we shared in our Adventure Guide. Maslow theorized that at any given moment we have a choice: we can step forward into growth or we can step back into safety. I knew that if I left here today having given in to fear, I would have further solidified this invisible wall of my comfort zone. I owed it to my future self to break down that wall of fear. I set my intention once again and blocked out all the voices in my head as I approached the edge of the dock. I launched myself off of it into a not-so-graceful leap, awkwardly throwing my legs over my head. It wasn’t beautiful but I did it. It wasn’t about the flip, it was about pushing back the wall of my comfort zone just a bit. I didn’t do it for me, I did it for my future self. As it turned out, doing something for my future self was easier than doing something for myself. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.P.S. Here is a clip that Sascha captured of me finally making the leap into fear :-)
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