Mindful Matter
What would you stop doing?
I was recently listening to a Tim Ferris podcast interview with author Jim Collins that was filled with nuggets of wisdom. Toward the end of the nearly three-hour conversation, Jim recalled a college class in which his professor, Rochelle Meyers, asked students: “If you woke up tomorrow morning and you discovered you had only 10 years to live, what would you stop doing?” (Journal your response in Reflection.app →). This question stuck with me. I have a tendency, especially around New Years, to think a lot about the things I want to do. But I reflect less frequently on the things I would like to stop doing — especially on a 10-year scale. While many of us hope, plan, and live as if we have longer than 10 years left, the scary truth is that none of us know that for certain. The fragility of our lives is a reality that COVID-19 has brought to the forefront for many of us. The only way to make time for what you want and need, is to let go of things that no longer serve you. What will you stop doing this year so you can live your life to its fullest? To living every year with intention, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee & Reflection.app P.S. Another nugget from this conversation that stuck with me was the response Jim received after sending an unprompted letter of gratitude and admiration to Fred Hargadon, the former Dean of Admissions at Stanford University. Hargadon’s words left a lasting impression on Collins, and on me. And perhaps they will on you as well. He wrote: “The most treasured gifts in the world are kind words spontaneously tendered.” I don’t have many resolutions for 2021, but inspired by this, I do hope to share more unprompted words of kindness with those that have made an impact on me.
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Becoming.
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.” ― Michelle Obama, Becoming I generally find uncertainty a bit unsettling. The wideness of the unknown makes me uncomfortable, even if the outcomes aren’t necessarily bad. But I am beginning to understand that everything in life is slowly revealing itself, like a flower slowly unfolding. I am learning to see beauty in the blossom, to appreciate the magic within the mystery. We are, in the words of Michelle Obama, constantly becoming. As I set my intention for 2021, I realize there will be much that happens beyond my control, so I am also reminding myself to be patient, curious, and welcoming of what the year has in store for me. Whatever the year ahead brings, I hope it unfolds beautifully and gracefully for you. Happy New Year, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee & Reflection.app
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Q&A with Emily Lynn Perelman
This month’s art is by artist Emily Lynn Perelman, who splits her time between home in South Florida and school in Boston, Massachusetts. Emily uses her bright and surreal illustrations to make sense of the world around her. Taking inspiration from everyday shapes and sights, she is always looking for a fresh way to capture her experiences. She says her design was inspired by a “reflection on what it means to be mindful and in the moment.” Emily says, “This plays into the theme of intention because I believe it's important to hold onto the moments around you, both the static and transitional ones, and intentionally acknowledge what you're facing.” For a little more about what inspired this artwork, process, and their life, here's a short Q&A: Where is home for you? Home is in South Florida but I spend much of the year at school in Boston What is your definition of a successful life? I think my ideal “successful life” would just be to exist in a place, mentally and physically, where I can do something with substance. To be in a place where I’m not always looking toward the future but content with the present, including the trivial things in the everyday. “Success” to me can mean making an impact within my community that can create sustainable change for a better world. Describe your perfect day. I’m a sucker for a good beach day. How did you get into design? I’ve been designing and creating for as long as I remember. I was privileged to be able to be in art classes from a young age which really let me foster my passion. During high school, I started to get more serious about my creative work and started building up a large collection of pieces. It wasn’t until I started sharing my work via social media that I saw the possibility of design as a professional route. Since then, I’ve been lucky to find freelance design and illustration workas well as having the ability to share my work on a larger scale. I’m currently attending Boston University with a Psychology major and Visual Arts minor which has a great impact on how I perceive the world and my work. Where do you find inspiration? There’s not really one place I go to for inspiration. I have some more literal places I go such as my Instagram feed or Pinterest, but I could also get inspired based on snippets of conversations I have, music, or something I see on a walk. What's your dream design project? I think designing an album cover or piece of art for one of my favorite bands/artists. Which designers or thinkers influence/inspire you? Amber Vittoria, Maria Medem, Livia Falcaru, Jake Foreman. What was the inspiration behind this design? I really enjoy exploring transitions in my work, it can be a literal day to night transition or something like this piece where a static scene finds transition within itself. The phrase “This Moment” stems from a recent fixation with trying to live in the present more. As cliche as that sounds, I’ve been finding a lot of solace lately in practicing mindfulness and yoga. Sometimes my work, such as this piece, is an attempt to manifest what I want for myself. In what ways does the theme of Integrity play out in your life? There’s definitely so much merit and solace in setting intentions for what you want to get out of your life and your experiences. I tend to get wrapped up in my responsibilities and think in terms of what I have to do next, without really thinking about what my goals for myself actually are. I find that when I stop to think what I want for myself, whether it be personally or professionally, I have a much clearer state of mind. At the moment, what is your favorite… Color: Yellow Food: Thai Song: Habit - Still Woozy Quote: “Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think” - Buddha -Thank you for sharing your talent and time with us, Emily!
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Making space for deep work.
During this past month of Intention setting, Dave and I realized just how much we want to do in 2020. We also realized that in order to make it happen without burning out, we need to be just as intentional about making time and space for it. That’s why we are planning to take several weeks off from writing our weekly Reflections to allow for some much needed “deep work”. During this sprint, we plan to dedicate our focused energy towards Reflection.app, the Holstee Membership, and a few new product concepts that we’ll share later this year. The concept of “deep work” was popularized by researcher and productivity expert Cal Newport in his book Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World. Newport defines deep work as: “Professional activity performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skill, and are hard to replicate.” It’s a valuable skill to hone, regardless of your craft. It’s also becoming simultaneously more valuable and more rare. Deep work requires us to be incredibly intentional with our time, which is really difficult when we have a lot of things vying for our attention. Newport offers three strategies to build a deep work habit: Schedule distraction-free periods, ideally with hard start and stop times. Develop a rhythmic deep work schedule, so that you no longer need to decide when or if you will go deep that day. Newport suggests blocking time in the morning if possible. Have a daily ‘shutdown’ ritual in which you make a plan for how you’ll finish incomplete tasks the following day. This will allow you to disconnect for the evening and get quality sleep so you can be ready and energized the next day. We’re excited to test out these principles during our own deep work sprint, and we’ll be sure to share our learnings once we’re back. While we’re taking a break, we’ve collected some of our favorite Reflections from the archive and will be sharing one every Monday. We hope this is a way to revisit the ideas that most resonated with our community, while keeping with the weekly Reflections tradition. Look forward to being back in touch very soon! Mike (and Dave)Co-Founders, Holstee
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Won't You Be My Neighbor?
Growing up, I watched a lot of Mister Rogers. I never knew much about the show or the man behind it. But I do remember thinking, even at a young age, there was something very special about him. The way he always looked directly at me through the camera. The way that he deliberately changed from his outside jacket to his inside cardigan and always took the time to sit and take off his shoes. The way he patiently communicated with all the people in his neighborhood. He seemed to give infinite time and space to everything he did. I recently watched the documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor? and learned that this level of intention wasn't just an act he put on for the show — it was how Fred Rogers carried himself in life. Through his intention in every task and his presence in each moment, Rogers had the ability to connect in an incredibly meaningful way with the people around him. Rogers’ 1969 testimony to the U.S. Senate in support of public television funding is a touching example of this. (Watch the video or read the transcript.) You can feel the weight and emotion in every word. Rogers brings a sense of vulnerability and power to the moment that you are able to feel deep in your heart. I've watched the clip a dozen times and I still get goosebumps. It is as if you can see the Senate’s tough exterior slowly melt away as Rogers shares his deep concerns for children and his desire to help them. It’s incredible the impact we can have when we communicate, act, and embrace each other with intention. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Atomic Habits.
“True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.” - James Clear How do we take all the motivation that is universally felt each January and make it stick for the long haul? In his new book Atomic Habits, habits expert James Clear offers a compelling answer: “Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.” He explains with some examples: “The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader. The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner. The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.” This really connected with me because it shows how a small shift in language can move us from a one-off goal (what we want to do) to a real, lasting intention (who we want to be). More than wordplay, this practice is backed by science. James references a study in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences which found that a person who self-describes as a ‘voter’ is far more likely to vote than a person who just said ‘voting’ is something they want to do. As a team, we were so impressed with the wisdom in this book that we reached out to ask James a few more questions and dedicated one of the sections in this month’s Intention Guide to sharing more of it with our members. To who we are and what we are becoming, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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The joy of a new hobby.
Over the holidays, I took some time to complete my Reflection Journal with my wife Jess. We tackled the sections over the course of a few days, regrouping every so often to share our answers with each other. My favorite part of the process was going through the first few pages, where we wrote down the highlights and lowlights from each of the past 12 months. It's my favorite part because I have a notoriously bad memory. By reviewing my journal, calendar, and photos month-by-month, I’m able to remember what happened over the past year and think about how those experiences have impacted me. One thing that stuck out to me while doing this exercise was the unexpected joy that came from a new hobby I picked up this year. On May 27, I bought a skateboard. I know exactly what day it was because that was also the day Mike's daughter Mala was born. The same day that my brother entered parenthood, I reached back to my childhood — I remember my parents laughing at the symbolism :-). I told a few friends that I wanted to pick up skateboarding again after some 20ish years off the board. Some got excited about the idea and told their friends. Before I knew it, we had brought together a small group of 30+ year olds with shiny new skateboards, relearning how to ride and practicing tricks. If the weather was nice or someone had the day off, we would message the group and whoever could join would. Throughout the year, I’d write about my skateboarding sessions in my journal. And looking back, I can tell from the energy in those posts — and the sheer quantity of them — what a big role skateboarding played in my life. When I shared this realization with Jess, we tried to break down exactly what it was about skating that made it so enjoyable and fulfilling. It was pursuing something outside of my comfort-zone (that delicious combination of fear and courage). I felt empowered by the encouragement and support from new friends. I was able to deepen some of my relationships. I was doing something that challenged me mentally and physically. I felt that I was making progress towards a new skill and could clearly see the results of my effort. I also realized that I wasn’t just feeling joy while skating, but that the energy spilled over into other areas of my life. The days I went skating became the days I had the most energy, I felt the most creative, and I felt the most alive. With this insight in mind, Jess and I are prioritizing “play” as we set our goals and intentions for 2019. For me, this means more skating, but also being open to other unexpected hobbies. For Jess, it’s making time for creative outlets like writing and weaving. What are your intentions and goals for the year ahead? Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Start by slowing down.
There is no point in reading a poem in a rush. There is no reward in skimming or reading its summary. The magic of poetry, like most art, is that if we allow ourselves to slow down enough for it to capture our full attention, it has the power to transport us — to a new world, to someone else's perspective, to a different state of mind. But for this magical moment to occur, we need to prepare ourselves. We need to be intentional about giving both our time and our attention. We need to tear down the walls of distraction, fear, and skepticism, making way for the words and wisdom to slowly find their way to our hearts. Beginning with January's Intention Guide (also available as a PDF download), we have updated our monthly guides from cover to cover. We start each new guide with a poem we've curated, as a reminder to slow down and ground your monthly reflection. We spend so much of our lives speeding up so we can move on to the next thing — but sometimes the most precious moments are the ones that slow down time. Wishing you many such moments this year, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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