Life feels a bit surreal at the moment. 

Perhaps, like me, you’ve recently spiraled into a deep media pit, consuming as much commentary and 140-character punchlines as possible in an attempt to make sense of our current political climate. It’s momentous. It’s frightening. It’s raw. And it's an invitation for reflection. 

Perhaps, like me, you’re asking yourself 2 questions: How did we arrive at this place? And now what?

When I went to Washington, D.C. to intern for a senator as an eager, naive recent high school grad, I was wildly optimistic about pursuing a career in politics. But once I arrived, I realized that most (though not all) of the people around me were driven more by power than altruism (shocking, I know). But it was a call to public service that led me there and later guided me toward the Peace Corps. 

“Public service.” It almost feels like a quaint, antiquated term, doesn’t it? Something the Roosevelts did and your grandparents talked about. Now, we largely resign ourselves to “social media activism” -- a like, a follow, a cause-driven profile picture. Some criticize this armchair activism and finger-wag its laziness. Others herald it as the new normal. But is a post to your network the new civic engagement? Is there still merit in in-person communing? 

In Sebastian Junger’s latest book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, he laments that modern urban and suburban life limits our outlets for “tribal bonding” and meaningful connection -- to each other, to nature, and to a cause larger than ourselves. 

During our battle with the Native American Indians, a surprising number of Americans joined Indian culture, and yet the reverse was almost never the case. “The question for Western society isn’t so much why tribal life might be so appealing -- it seems obvious on the face of it -- but why Western society is so unappealing,” Junger asks. Loyalty, courage, and cohesive community largely define tribal life, while Western society is rooted in individualism and affluence, but also greed, isolation, and solitude. Even in dense urban dwellings or tethered to online “communities,” we often feel alone.

Is a post to your network the new civic engagement? Is there still merit in in-person communing? 

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Junger references “self-determination theory,” which argues that we need three things to be happy: a feeling of authenticity, competence, and connectivity. But how do we achieve this?

There’s no shortage of self-help gurus out there telling you to “serve yourself” and “take care of you.” And I agree that self-care is crucial to delivering your best possible self to your loved ones and the world at large. But too often we stop short -- we commit to the self-care, but fail to fully engage in what that self-love has prepared us to offer: service to the greater good. 

Outside of sports team allegiances, we are largely a detribalized society. We look out for ourselves and our immediate dependents, without regard for the society in which we live, or the generations yet to come. And if you think I’m just peddling some super hippy leftist jargon, you need look no further than the military to find a group of well-groomed adherents to the tribal mentality. Hardship demands reliability, builds trust, and nurtures resilience. Tribalism -- a sense of belonging and a call to serve -- appeals on an evolutionary level to all political, economic, and cultural persuasions. Prosocial acts actually release happy hormones. And diving into the arena, as the great Teddy Roosevelt encouraged us to do, gives us purpose and not only enhances the world in which we live, but our own mental health. 

"A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life." - Christopher Germer

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Where do you create conversation? What’s your tribal outlet? And how are you called to serve? I want to hear your thoughts in the comments section below -- so let's start a conversation. 

This post was originally published on Sociology of Style.

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