“I did the dishes every night this week; you just left yours in the sink.”

“The last three times he invited me out for coffee, I picked up the tab.”

“I put 10 hours of work into the project. You only put in two.”

It’s easy to keep score in our relationships — to quantify our actions.

But after a while, things that we might normally do out of generosity and love, we start to do with resentment. And when we act out of resentment, no one wins.

The “favor” you did doesn’t help your relationship if you are looking for something in return.

Whenever I think of infinite generosity, I think of two things:

1. The first is my parents, who have given me life, love, and so much more without ever asking for anything in return.

2. The second is this quote from the Persian poet Hafez:

"Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, 'You owe me.'
Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky."

When was the last time you thanked the sun?

Lucky for us, the sun isn’t keeping score.

Dave Radparvar
Co-Founder, Holstee

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This article is part of our series on the theme of Gratitude.

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Our Themes

Distilled from our Manifesto, positive psychology, the science of mindfulness, and ancient philosophic studies we have identified twelve themes core to living both fully and mindfully. We mapped these twelve themes to each of the twelve months in a year. Together with our community we explore one each month.