When I meet a friend, there is a magic that occurs. Time stands still and we decide to trust each other. We decide to look at each other and examine the brilliance that is another being.
I am so grateful for the people who engage with my curiosity. The people who meet this initial inquiry may use it as a way to see deeper than my persona, to see more than my clothes, job or social status. It is in that brief, curious examination that the relationship is realized. Friendships begin in this moment because there is enough trust to share an authenticity where each person sees the others attractive qualities.
Sometimes, these moments produce the feeling of friendship; the acknowledgment that the sentiment is shared yet there is no future plan. No phone numbers exchanged, no connection on social media. It is a friendship that is potentially just a moment. I value these encounters with the same reverence that I value my nurtured friends. And, through this reverence, it seems that a door is left open to potentially experience deeper friendship in the future.
The transition from stranger to a momentary friendship to a close friend is one that takes trust and then moves to a place of forgiveness.
The people who I feel the safest with are those that have already seen my fears: my anger, my insecurity, my judgement, and instead of setting these qualities like clay, my close friends help me move in and through my fear while holding forgiveness in their hearts. And once a relationship shows both forgiveness and trust, I feel a state of friendship arise. Through this state, I can actively be a friend. I can trust that my actions are received as intended: that my words are heard as kind, that my gifts are received as thoughtful and even my silence is appreciated.
Friendship is a gift and the greater the gift, the greater the responsibility. Right now I’m learning to share friendship, trust and forgiveness with a level of non-attachment. As I move to this place, I will slip up, I will shift and change and sometimes confuse others. Yet, I work toward this as a way to offer freedom to a secure relationship. It is my intention that my friends and myself can trust that I can love them without an attachment to what they do.
Want to make more mindful connections? Come to our workshop on How To Build & Maintain Meaningful Relationships on February 10th!
Bridgett Erickson is a yoga therapist and mom to three boys. She's a listener, a contemplative and an explorer. She intends to spend more time walking the earth and dreaming big in 2015.
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