Dear rational self,

I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. The signs were all there and I should have removed myself from the situation so that I could recharge and re-center as I clearly wasn't coping, but my sleep-deprived venomous tongue got the better of me and has damaged a relationship I valued dearly.

I realize now that I can't please everyone and that it is important to check in with myself to see how I'm doing. I realize now that it is okay to say no when I feel overburdened or over-committed and that I shouldn't feel guilty for doing this to protect myself or my time. I also realize that in order for me to be the best version of myself I need to be a fully-functioning, healthy and happy individual, which means getting a good night's sleep, having healthy relationships (by re-evaluating/removing myself from toxic ones), and actually liking, accepting and being comfortable with who I am.

I am going to try and salvage the relationship I had but also vow to myself to listen and trust my instincts in the future. I vow to learn to look out for the signs and give myself time to think about my answers when I feel overburdened and over-committed so that I can formulate a response rather than dive straight into my usual people-pleasing mode. I vow to be true to myself and to others by reaching out to my social circle not only for the fun things but for when I need those social connections to help me feel re-centered so that I can work towards being the best version of myself.

I also vow not to compare myself with others but instead honor and appreciate the true, unique qualities that make me who I am.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reflect on my shortcomings and provide me with a clearer perspective on the matter so that I can see that I cannot maintain my own "perfectionist" state of play that I impose upon myself 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Here's to honoring my own well-being and allowing others to do the same so that we can all aim to be the best version of ourselves.

Love always,

A wiser, kinder, happier and more rational me



Tessa Sillifant is a travel extraordinaire, life guru and quirky Cornish girl who lives in New Zealand. An introverted soul Tessa helps students navigate their way through tertiary education and has a key focus on enhancing wellbeing and providing access to careers. In her spare time, Tessa dances at every opportunity, jogs through her local park, and is continuously updating her bucket list!

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