Mindful Matter

Per aspera ad astra.

A couple of months ago, I was driving with my parents to Ventura, CA to visit Mike. After a few hours in traffic, we decided to switch on a recent Oprah SuperSoul Conversations podcast episode with author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle.   In the last 10 minutes, their conversation moved to the current state of the world. Oprah asks Tolle: "So, what is your interpretation of these troubled times we are living in?" He replies: There is a Latin saying going back 2000 years:  “per aspera ad astra" which translated means “through adversity to the stars,” or, "through hardship to the stars." So whenever an obstacle rises that seems to block the path forward, in reality the obstacle has an essential function. And that is, it forces me or it forces humanity to generate more — either more strength, more energy or more consciousness." That got my interest. It reminded me of the Stoic view of adversity, a concept that really resonates with me, and we have written about before. Tolle continues: “It even operates on a physical level. If you want to make your body stronger, what do you do? You say, well, you need to exercise. But what is exercise? Exercise is … for a while you have to make life difficult for your body ... you have to lift this weight … ”Oh my god, it’s so [heavy]” … You are not in your comfort zone anymore … And so life becomes difficult for the body and then there is a demand for more strength … When life becomes difficult for human beings there is demand for more consciousness.” For Me, The Meaning of Per Aspera Ad Astra When I look at my own life, I see that my greatest periods of personal growth came after particularly challenging moments — moments where I was beyond my comfort zone. This idea of growth through adversity has come up in the Holstee Membership a number of times, particularly in the importance of Adventure and the beauty of Resilience. While it doesn’t make going through tough times any easier, this idea does give me hope that through it all, we can rise higher than where we started. To the stars, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee [Editor's Note: While Eckhart Tolle attributes the phrase "per aspera ad astra" to 2000 years ago, it's important to note that this is not historically accurate. The exact phrase "per aspera ad astra" is of more recent origin, with documented usage dating back to the early 20th century. However, the concept of overcoming adversity to achieve greatness does have roots in classical literature. For example, Seneca the Younger wrote in his work "Hercules Furens" around 54 AD: "Non est ad astra mollis e terris via" (There is no easy way from the earth to the stars).]

The Golden Mean.

October is the month I was born, which makes this month’s theme of Integrity the equivalent of my astrological sign in the Holstee-verse (high-five to my fellow equitable and slightly indecisive Libras!). They say Libras are all about balance. Perhaps that is why this month I was drawn towards Aristotle’s concept of the Golden Mean. According to Aristotle, a pioneer of western philosophy, identifying our virtues is important but the real impact comes from being able to put our virtues into action — in the right way, at the right time, and with the right intention. In this month’s Integrity Guide, we explore his concept of the Golden Mean, the sweet spot of our moral behavior between two extremes, with excess at one end and deficiency at the other. Take courage, for example. Too little can translate to cowardice, while in excess it can become recklessness. But when we apply just the right amount of this virtue, we can be courageous in a way that meets the needs of the situation and doesn’t lead to unintended consequences. What values are you practicing in excess or in deficit? How might you be able to bring those values back to the Golden Mean? It’s all about the balance, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee

What brings us together.

We recently announced a new product collaboration with UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center to create a colorful boxed set of 30 science-based practices for a meaningful life. One of the things that I admire most about the Greater Good Science Center is their dedication to surfacing the science behind a flourishing and compassionate society. This is especially important now. Whenever I look at the headlines, it seems like the world is getting more and more divided. People are further solidifying the edges of their identities and the tribes they identify with. I worry that it’s a downward spiral — the less people feel they have in common, the less likely they are to be kind or generous, which fosters even more negativity — and the cycle continues. The good news is, the opposite is also true. The more we feel a shared identity with others, the more likely we are to be kind and generous to them — which in turn makes us feel a greater sense of connection and belonging. The cycle can be beautiful and virtuous, instead of fearful and hateful. To help us understand the science behind this, we can turn to the Shared Identity practice, one of 30 practices in the Greater Good Toolkit. Along with the research, the practice outlines a practical exercise to help foster empathy and connection. Here is a summarized excerpt: Think of a person who seems to be different from you in every way you can imagine. Make a list of all of the things that you most likely share in common with this person. Perhaps you both work for the same company or go to the same school? Review this list of commonalities. Does it make you see this person in a new light? Instead of viewing this person as unfamiliar or as a member of an out-group, try to see this person as an individual, one whose tastes and experiences might overlap with yours. Repeat this exercise whenever you meet someone who initially seems different from you, with whom you have a conflict, or who makes you feel uncomfortable. While simple in practice, the science behind it is powerful. In a 2008 study on empathy that is referenced in the practice, researchers found that: “Participants who reported feeling a greater sense of connection to other people, regardless of group distinctions, and to the natural world at large also reported less egocentricity, more concern for others, and less interest in having power over others.” The more we realize and appreciate how similar we actually are, the more we are able to treat others as we would want to be treated — with care and kindness. We’re in this together, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee  P.S. We are offering 20% off of all Greater Good Toolkit pre-orders until this Thursday, when we officially begin production. Visit the Toolkit Pre-order page →

Greta moments.

The legend of Django Reinhardt.

Django Reinhardt is known as one of the best jazz musicians of the 21st century. What’s less known is the story of his incredible resilience. I came across this story while getting lost down a Wikipedia rabbit hole one recent night and wanted to share it with you. Reinhardt was born in 1910 and grew up in a family caravan with his single mother and siblings in a nomadic Romani settlement outside of Paris. Life in the settlement wasn’t easy, so he became skilled at stealing chickens for his family. Reinhardt was also musically inclined and taught himself the violin, banjo and guitar. At the age of 12, he would travel outside of his community to Paris to put on shows. By 18, he was a favorite in Parisian dance halls and beginning to gain international fame. Then the unthinkable happened. One evening, a candle fell into flammable liquid as Reinhardt and his wife slept. Their caravan immediately went up in flames and they barely escaped. Reinhardt was hospitalized for nearly two years with bad burns across his body. Two of the fingers on his left hand were burned with silver nitrate to make what remained of his hand usable, but the doctors doubted that he would ever play guitar again. In a way the doctors were right. Reinhardt was never able to play the guitar as he did before the fire. Instead he changed his technique, creating a new style to accommodate his hand. "Instead of playing scales and arpeggios horizontally across the fretboard as was the norm, he searched out fingerings that ran vertically up and down the frets as they were easier to play with just two fingers. He created new chord forms. . . . He pushed his paralyzed fingers to grip the guitar as well, his smallest digit on the high E string, his ring finger on the B, and sometimes barring his index finger to fashion chords of four to five notes. He then slid his hand up and down the fretboard, employing these chord forms to craft a fluent vocabulary."Excerpt from “Django: The Life and Music of a Gypsy Legend” by Michael Dregni This new style sealed Reinhardt’s status as a music legend. During the first part of the 20th century, he was considered the most famous jazz musician in Europe. This isn’t the only obstacle Reinhardt overcame. His biography includes many fascinating stories (including 2 failed attempts of escaping France in World War II, once where his life spared by a jazz-loving soldier). For many people, a life filled with so many obstacles would kill the spirit, if not the body. But Reinhardt was determined to overcome his impediments and bring his own style to the music he loved so much. In the process, he created an incredible library of music (I’ve been playing his Spotify hits on repeat for the past week). His legacy is a powerful reminder that life can give us obstacles — but it will not be defined by those obstacles, only by how we respond to them. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee

Let it RAIN.

I recently found myself juggling a family emergency and a complex work project, all while trying my best to not completely fail in my role as a husband and father. It’s in moments like these that I have found Tara Brach’s RAIN method especially helpful. Tara is unique in that she combines eastern spiritual practices with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. RAIN is the acronym of Tara’s four-step process for ‘practicing mindfulness and compassion’ when in a challenging moment and is one of the exercises featured in this month’s Resilience Guide. Here are the steps: R - Recognize what is going onAcknowledge your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Step outside of yourself and recognize any signs of a harsh inner voice, feelings of embarrassment and dread, or noticeable physical manifestations created by anxiety. A - Allow life to be just as it isAllow the experience to be there, just as it is. Do not attempt to alter or avoid it. When defaulting to self-judgment, let the negative emotions exist. It does not mean you are unworthy, it means you recognize painful feelings created by a stressful moment. I - Investigate with interest and careLean into your natural curiosities to discover the truth. Ask yourself, “How is this experience manifesting in my body? What is it that I think I believe? What does this vulnerable place want from me and what does it need most?” N - Nurture with self-compassionOnce you identify the wounded and hurting place inside you, offer a gesture of kindness that might address it. Ask yourself, “Does it need a message of reassurance? Of forgiveness? Of companionship?” Sincerely spark self-compassion and even if it feels awkward, it will start to soothe and strengthen the heart. Take time to explore RAIN as a stand-alone meditation or return to this exercise the next time you face a challenging moment. Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee

Grief and gratitude.

Last week our grandfather, or Babajoon as we called him, passed away at the incredible age of 104. His death came just four months after the passing of Mamanjoon, our grandmother and his wife of 75 years. His passing also marked the loss of our last living grandparent. After the news of his death, our family received many comforting messages and words of wisdom to guide this period of grief. One video in particular was shared a few times, first by our cousin and then again by a close friend. It was an honest, heartfelt, and open conversation between Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper discussing life after losing loved ones. About 13 minutes in, Cooper says to Colbert: "You told an interviewer that you have learned to love the things that you most wish had not happened. You went on to say, ‘What punishments of God are not gifts?’ Do you really believe that?" Colbert took a moment and responded: "Yes. It’s a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There’s no escaping that. But I didn’t learn it — that I was grateful for the thing that I most wished hadn’t happened. It’s that I realized it... I don’t want it to have happened. I want it to not have happened. But if you’re grateful for your life — and not everyone is, and I’m not always… then you have to be grateful for all of it. You can’t pick and choose what you’re grateful for. Then what do you get from loss? You get awareness of other people’s loss, which allows you to connect with that other person, which allows you to love more deeply and to understand what it’s like to be a human being…and however imperfectly, acknowledge their suffering and to connect with them and to love them in a deep way that not only accepts that all of us suffer, but also that makes you grateful for the fact that you have suffered so that you can know that about other people. And that’s what I mean. It’s about the fullness of your humanity. What’s the point of being here and being human if you can’t be the most human you can be?" Learning to find peace, growth, and even gratitude from our most painful moments — is an incredible act of Resilience. To life, love, and humanity, Mike and Dave RadparvarCo-Founders, Holstee

Our Next Chapter: Reflection.app — a better way to journal.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Søren Kierkegaard Last week I recapped our 10-year Holstee journey and how it has steered us towards a new and exciting project. This week I am thrilled to introduce you to: Reflection.app — a simple way to start a meaningful reflection practice with an online journal that guides your personal growth each month. From our Reflection Cards, to our annual Reflection Journal, to the exercises in our Mindful Kits, Mike and I are big believers in the power of reflection. Through reflection, we get the chance to appreciate, learn from, and find peace with our past as we take steps toward the future ahead. The challenge is that starting and keeping a reflection practice is hard. It can be difficult to know how to begin, and once you do begin, it can be difficult to maintain with all the distractions life throws our way. For years, journaling has been our go-to tool for reflection. But even when we mastered the habit of writing about our days, there wasn’t an easy framework for looking back on past entries — no guide to help us find patterns in the things that brought us joy, or learnings from the moments that challenged us. It’s a problem we have experienced first-hand, and after speaking with you, our community, we realized we were not alone. Two years ago, we began researching, testing, and developing concepts to solve this problem. We have created, scrapped, and recreated dozens of prototypes (“reflectionapp_mockupv10-7a_copy-v2-final-FINAL1.sketch” may or may not be a file on my Dropbox ;-). Finally, we arrived at a tool that we believe can really help people start and keep a meaningful reflection practice. Here is how Reflection.app works: Daily Journaling Through a simple web interface, you can add daily entries in one of three categories: Highlights - Things that brought you joy. Lowlights - Challenges you experienced. Free Writes - Everything else on your mind :-) (with optional writing prompts for inspiration!) End-of-Month Review At the end of each month, you are guided through your Highlights and Lowlights so you can understand how to grow from them. After, you are led through a short self-assessment in six key areas: Mind - Do you feel clear-headed, engaged, and intellectually challenged? Body - Does your body feel healthy, nourished, and strong? Soul - Do you feel at peace and connected to the world around you? Work - Do you feel interested in and fulfilled by your work? Play - Do you feel joyful? Are you engaging in activities that bring you joy? Love - Do you feel positive about the relationships in your life? Your end-of-month review comes together in one stunning personal monthly report that you can return to at any time. End-of-Year Review At the end of the year, you will have the chance to look back on the whole year. Your daily entries roll into your monthly reviews, and your monthly reviews roll into your annual review. Our goal with Reflection.app is to provide a simple and delightful framework to help guide you through a meaningful reflection practice. A practice that naturally builds on itself by using your entries to guide your reflection, at each step making the next milestone in your life more enjoyable and meaningful. Ready to give it a try? Reflection.app is in beta and we will be adding new people every week. Sign up here to request (free) early access! We plan to work closely with our community to continue making this tool as valuable and useful for you as possible. Excited to hear your thoughts!  Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. Holstee Members — You will get bumped up on the list once you request early access! In addition, we have also been working hard on some new updates for 2020 and we are excited to share those updates. Keep your eye on the private members group for a sneak peek :-)

Feed your soul.

In our latest Passion Kit (also available in our Digital Guide), we talk about intrinsic and extrinsic values — a key concept in my own path to living fully. Here’s a quick breakdown: Extrinsic values represent external psychological needs such as money, fame, and image (physical appearance). Intrinsic values represent internal psychological needs like growth, connectedness, and helpfulness. I like to think of this distinction as “things that feed my ego” vs. “things that feed my soul”. It’s the “things that feed my soul” that light me up, fuel my passion, and ultimately make me feel fulfilled. And there’s research to back that up. After more than 20 years of study, psychologist Tim Kasser found that living in alignment with intrinsic values correlates with greater well-being. While most people naturally live by a mix of intrinsic and extrinsic values, it’s the intrinsic values that are at the root of personal fulfillment. What are you doing to feed your soul? Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee