Mindful Matter
Real connection.
A few years ago, Holstee shifted from having a Brooklyn-based office to being a decentralized team with everyone working remotely. While it’s offered us a lot of flexibility and has overall made us more productive, it has also meant that I spend quite a lot of time in front of a screen every day, interacting with the team online. This has made time spent in person so much more important. But despite my best efforts to reduce screen time, there is still plenty of it. And when I feel a bit lonely while working from home, I may look to social media for a quick surge of connectedness. After getting lost in a series of buzz-worthy articles, vacation photos, and posts from people I’m not sure I’ve ever even met in person, I become a more judgmental and isolated version of myself, feeling emptier and more disconnected. No matter how hard we try, technology can’t replace real human connection. What I do know, is that when I am able to avoid the temporary social media fix and instead schedule time with the people I care about (whether that’s going on an adventure or having a meaningful conversation) I feel much more than a social sugar rush. I feel full, connected and grateful for the relationships I have in my life. Wishing you a holiday season filled with real connections with the people you love. Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
Learn more
Some perspective.
One of the most powerful books I’ve read is “The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” by Michael Singer. I recently took some time to reread some of my favorite parts and once again I was left feeling grounded and refreshed. This passage felt particularly relevant this month: “Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. You are sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Though you can only see a few thousand stars, there are hundreds of billions of stars in our Milky Way Galaxy alone. In fact, it is estimated that there are over a trillion stars in the Spiral Galaxy. And that galaxy would look like one star to us, if we could even see it. You’re just standing on one little ball of dirt and spinning around one of the stars. From that perspective, do you really care what people think about your clothes or your car? Do you really need to feel embarrassed if you forget someone’s name? How can you let these meaningless things cause pain? If you want out, if you want a decent life, you had better not devote your life to avoiding psychological pain. You had better not spend your life worrying about whether people like you or whether your car impresses people. What kind of life is that? It is a life of pain. You may not think that you feel pain that often, but you really do. To spend your life avoiding pain means it’s always right behind you.” The psychological pain Singer refers to is the constant internal chatter we all hear in our heads. Sometimes that voice can be encouraging, but more often than not it's resurfacing thoughts from the past and future that do nothing other than take us away from the present moment. It is the manifestation of our anxieties. Singer reminds us that there is a way beyond this pain. We need to be able to see our thoughts, instead of be our thoughts. This is the “untethering” of our being from our ego. This quote from the book sums it up nicely: “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind — you are the one who hears it.” Perspective is powerful — which is why we dedicate a whole month of the Holstee Membership to Reflection, one of the best ways to gain perspective. Like looking out on the night sky, reflection gives us distance from what we experience, allowing us the space to look at our lives openly, honestly, and without judgement. Sending love from my soul to yours, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. If you haven’t checked it out yet, our 36-page Guided Reflection Journal is an incredible framework for looking back on the last year. Using it over the holiday break to reflect on the year is one of my favorite personal annual traditions.
Learn more
The greatest gift.
Day by day and year by year, we race through life — running around on earth, while the planet dances in circles around the sun. But from a few stars away, the earth looks still. Our lives, our joy, our worries, our collective existence — all unidentifiable. What is the meaning of it all? It’s a cliché question, but I used to think about it a lot. I would stress about it, thinking that if I could not figure out the meaning of life, how could I ever know if I’m making the right decisions? One day, my mother said something that really changed how I experience the world. She said: "Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a gift to be enjoyed." Simple and profound. I come back to her words often. It helps me put the biggest decisions I face into perspective. When we look at our life like it’s a problem, we try to find ways to fix it. But what if this life, this existence, isn't a problem that needs solving? What if it’s a gift? A gift that reveals itself a bit more with each passing day. All we need to do is stop and look around to realize this life is pretty amazing. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. I've tried to find the original source for my mother’s words of wisdom. Søren Kierkegaard is often attributed with a variation of the quote, but it is not cited in any of his published works. The earliest version I could find is from Dutch philosopher J. J. "Koos" van der Leeuw in his work, "The Conquest of Illusion" (1928). I found the whole paragraph stunning: "The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved; it is reality to be experienced. Beware of the man who claims to have solved the problem of life, who would explain its complexities and, with deadly logic, build a system in which all the facts of our existence may be pigeon-holed and neatly stored away. He stands condemned by his own claim. The child which sees wonder in all the world around it, to whom the shells with which it plays on the beach are objects breathless excitement and thrilled amazement, is nearer to divine truth than the intellectualist who would strip a world of its mystery and takes pride in showing us its anatomy in ruthless dissection. For a while it may satisfy evolving man to know that the splendors of a sunset are but the breaking of light-rays in a moist atmosphere; he will come to realize that he may have explained the method, but has not touched the mystery at all. Recovering from the sureness of youth, never doubting itself, awakened man returns to the wonder of childhood and once again sees a world, which, as the years pass by, deepens in mystery and beauty, but is never exhausted or explained."
Learn more
