Mindful Matter
Won't You Be My Neighbor?
Growing up, I watched a lot of Mister Rogers. I never knew much about the show or the man behind it. But I do remember thinking, even at a young age, there was something very special about him. The way he always looked directly at me through the camera. The way that he deliberately changed from his outside jacket to his inside cardigan and always took the time to sit and take off his shoes. The way he patiently communicated with all the people in his neighborhood. He seemed to give infinite time and space to everything he did. I recently watched the documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor? and learned that this level of intention wasn't just an act he put on for the show — it was how Fred Rogers carried himself in life. Through his intention in every task and his presence in each moment, Rogers had the ability to connect in an incredibly meaningful way with the people around him. Rogers’ 1969 testimony to the U.S. Senate in support of public television funding is a touching example of this. (Watch the video or read the transcript.) You can feel the weight and emotion in every word. Rogers brings a sense of vulnerability and power to the moment that you are able to feel deep in your heart. I've watched the clip a dozen times and I still get goosebumps. It is as if you can see the Senate’s tough exterior slowly melt away as Rogers shares his deep concerns for children and his desire to help them. It’s incredible the impact we can have when we communicate, act, and embrace each other with intention. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Atomic Habits.
“True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.” - James Clear How do we take all the motivation that is universally felt each January and make it stick for the long haul? In his new book Atomic Habits, habits expert James Clear offers a compelling answer: “Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.” He explains with some examples: “The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader. The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner. The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.” This really connected with me because it shows how a small shift in language can move us from a one-off goal (what we want to do) to a real, lasting intention (who we want to be). More than wordplay, this practice is backed by science. James references a study in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences which found that a person who self-describes as a ‘voter’ is far more likely to vote than a person who just said ‘voting’ is something they want to do. As a team, we were so impressed with the wisdom in this book that we reached out to ask James a few more questions and dedicated one of the sections in this month’s Intention Guide to sharing more of it with our members. To who we are and what we are becoming, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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The joy of a new hobby.
Over the holidays, I took some time to complete my Reflection Journal with my wife Jess. We tackled the sections over the course of a few days, regrouping every so often to share our answers with each other. My favorite part of the process was going through the first few pages, where we wrote down the highlights and lowlights from each of the past 12 months. It's my favorite part because I have a notoriously bad memory. By reviewing my journal, calendar, and photos month-by-month, I’m able to remember what happened over the past year and think about how those experiences have impacted me. One thing that stuck out to me while doing this exercise was the unexpected joy that came from a new hobby I picked up this year. On May 27, I bought a skateboard. I know exactly what day it was because that was also the day Mike's daughter Mala was born. The same day that my brother entered parenthood, I reached back to my childhood — I remember my parents laughing at the symbolism :-). I told a few friends that I wanted to pick up skateboarding again after some 20ish years off the board. Some got excited about the idea and told their friends. Before I knew it, we had brought together a small group of 30+ year olds with shiny new skateboards, relearning how to ride and practicing tricks. If the weather was nice or someone had the day off, we would message the group and whoever could join would. Throughout the year, I’d write about my skateboarding sessions in my journal. And looking back, I can tell from the energy in those posts — and the sheer quantity of them — what a big role skateboarding played in my life. When I shared this realization with Jess, we tried to break down exactly what it was about skating that made it so enjoyable and fulfilling. It was pursuing something outside of my comfort-zone (that delicious combination of fear and courage). I felt empowered by the encouragement and support from new friends. I was able to deepen some of my relationships. I was doing something that challenged me mentally and physically. I felt that I was making progress towards a new skill and could clearly see the results of my effort. I also realized that I wasn’t just feeling joy while skating, but that the energy spilled over into other areas of my life. The days I went skating became the days I had the most energy, I felt the most creative, and I felt the most alive. With this insight in mind, Jess and I are prioritizing “play” as we set our goals and intentions for 2019. For me, this means more skating, but also being open to other unexpected hobbies. For Jess, it’s making time for creative outlets like writing and weaving. What are your intentions and goals for the year ahead? Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Start by slowing down.
There is no point in reading a poem in a rush. There is no reward in skimming or reading its summary. The magic of poetry, like most art, is that if we allow ourselves to slow down enough for it to capture our full attention, it has the power to transport us — to a new world, to someone else's perspective, to a different state of mind. But for this magical moment to occur, we need to prepare ourselves. We need to be intentional about giving both our time and our attention. We need to tear down the walls of distraction, fear, and skepticism, making way for the words and wisdom to slowly find their way to our hearts. Beginning with January's Intention Guide (also available as a PDF download), we have updated our monthly guides from cover to cover. We start each new guide with a poem we've curated, as a reminder to slow down and ground your monthly reflection. We spend so much of our lives speeding up so we can move on to the next thing — but sometimes the most precious moments are the ones that slow down time. Wishing you many such moments this year, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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